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The time when I couldn’t be my authentic self

When I left a small village school and stepped in a big school, I became so miserable. I went to school but I didn’t know what to do and where to go. I was neither happy, nor excited. At first, for me, the school was like a building without emotions, and the teachers were like torturers.  I feared the principal so much that I didn’t dare to go to his office alone. When my parents came to drop me off at school, my heart pleaded them to take me back with them. But I had to go to school, and I had to talk in class. In the beginning days of new school I was like an alien, so unknown to this world. I lost myself, and always felt like I had come to an unknown place. Fear, disappointment and frustration surrounded me. The only reason for feeling like this were my friends with whom I used to play, hangout and study, and also, from whom I got separated. But, thank God, in few days I found a new friend whose name was Janet. She was the one who introduced me to every corner of the school, and freed me from the fear of teachers and principals.

I wondered why Janet didn’t have friends because she seemed so nice to me at first. As days passed, we started to sit together in class, eat lunch together and share everything. However, after few days, she started commanding me. She would copy my homework every single day, and would take all my pencils and never return them back. She never brought her own food so she ate all my food and I was left hungry. She would not let me talk with any other girls in school because she thought they were "mean". I was always under her obligation because she was the one who helped me in my hard times. That is the reason why I never stood up for myself. I was so fed up with her but never spoke against her. Later, she didn’t show up to school for some reason. Soon, I learned that she moved to another city. From then on, I was free. I could be friends with anyone I wanted to. Most importantly, I could be real me!

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