“I was not formed yet, not
a decision-maker about my life. I was not yet born to consciousness.
But here, suddenly, I was facing the results of being in the world.
In those empty, slow, lonely days, I had to be born into my next life, as
I lost my old self in a kind of death” (xx).
This quote shows how Meredith felt after getting pregnant.
She couldn’t make her own decisions then how could she start making decisions
about her own child? Her sixteen year old self was haunted with such questions.
She did not have any real world experience however, she was in a situation
where she had to start making her own decisions. I think that in this quote Meredith
is trying to show that although she was pregnant and had to deal with the real
world, she was not ready. When she says that’s she had to be born into next
life since she lost her old self, she means that because of her pregnancy her
childhood was snatched away. She could not live her childhood to the fullest. She
had to forget her past and had to deal with the “adult” world way too early in her
life. We can say that it was hard for her to forget her past because she describes
that as her death. It is such an overwhelming situation for a sixteen year old
girl to be pregnant and don’t have any one else to support her. This was the
time when Meredith needed the most help but she was lonely. Moreover, she was
considered an outcast because she committed a “crime”. Meredith had to learn to
swallow all that pain and had to learn to live with that burden and loneliness.
I viewed this more as her family was making the decisions for her since they kept her sheltered and away from everyone to keep it a secret as much as possible. I do agree with that her childhood was taken away when she as child because it was, she didn't plan on getting pregnant at 16. I do think that she did have to learn to live with the pain, but she was too young to have to live with that loneliness when she was at a time of true help and need to help her make it day to day. Other wise I think your points do make sense as to how she was feeling and what she had to do. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with what you've said about adulthood being thrust upon her, Riyana. To an extent, I think all first-time mothers feel this way, even if they have their first child much later in life. But, as a 16-year-old girl having a huge responsibility and life-changing moment, I agree with Meghan; she need support from her family who was only looking out for themselves. Sure her pregnancy would reflect on them, but was reputation more important than being there for a daughter who was scared and about to embark on a life where nothing was the same?
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